Suddenly I realize that I am the oldest? Dream of Being Convinced that My Body is Not Yet An Old Clunker!

Lately, I feel as if time is passing incredibly quickly. It often seems like a month goes by in just a few days. For instance, with monthly payments, I sometimes think, "I just paid the bill a few days ago," only to realize that another month has already passed. How can I explain this sensation of speed? While pondering this, I suddenly realize: Could I be the oldest person in this company? I can't believe it, but excluding the part-time ladies, I just might be! The thought crosses my mind briefly. I don't want to know the answer.

However, since I am still in my 40s, both physically and mentally, I always remind myself that what I can do and what I will do has not changed at all from 2 to 30 years ago. After all, I have been wearing the same clothes and the same style for over 40 years, and my hair has never changed. I have never dyed my hair and I haven’t decreased my exercising. Even when I work out on machines, I lift almost the same amount of weights I did when I was younger. My food is almost the same. So there is no reason for me to feel old! Is it a vain dream that I feel old?

Lately, I have been feeling strange about myself. Things are starting to happen that are out of my control. Of course, I don't need to call for help. Well, I guess it can't be helped that my running speed is getting slower and slower. Anyway, I can't go any faster and sometimes I feel frustrated. That being said, I'm starting to have trouble sleeping during the day. For some reason, I always feel like I haven't slept enough. Because I feel sleepy during the day, I can't even drive for more than an hour. I have almost caused rear-end collisions many times because I doze off. Also, I used to be able to work at night without any problems, but recently, after midnight, just like Cinderella, the pumpkin carriage comes to pick me up. If I lay in bed and try to read my email, there is no way I can get out of bed. Often, I find myself lying in bed trying to read my mail, only to look up from the computer and it’s already morning. This is not good.

In conjunction with sleepiness, I am acutely aware that my drinking has also become weaker. I used to drink only wine and beer, but recently I have begun to like sake as well. That's all well and good, but I can no longer work while enjoying alcohol as I used to. In the past, I could drink a bottle of wine and still get my work done until morning. Now, however, if I drink even three or four glasses of wine, I find myself falling asleep. It is clear that my physical condition is not what it used to be.

A further challenge is how my body is stiffening up. It is in my nature to sit still and do my best until the job is done. But, when it comes time to take a break and stand up, suddenly it's not so easy and my body will freeze up and not move. I mutter to myself like an old man saying, "Oh, my goodness, I need to take a break.”. This is especially true when driving long distances. Even getting out of the car can be a challenge if my body freezes up. But that doesn't mean it will last forever. We know that once we start moving, our body adapts quickly and comfortably. In other words, the body's initial response is not good. The meaning of the call of "Heave, ho!" is weighing heavily on my mind.

Yet, I still can't say that my body is a piece of junk. I can still keep running. I am convinced of that. Indeed, I have been forced to make countless repairs at pit stops. I have had bone spurs in my knees, cartilage damage in my ankles, cervical spondylosis in my neck, granulomas in my hands, inguinal hernias in my colon, minor hernias in my lower back, and torn calves and thigh muscles, to name just a few of the repairs I have had to make. It is sometimes shocking, but no matter what is inside, as long as the car is repaired and running, the result is good enough. When I think about it, there is nothing to worry about. This body is still going strong.

So from here on out, we must take our time to polish the car and make sure it does not rust or change parts so that it runs as smoothly and solidly as it did before. To do this, it is essential to take care of both the mind and the body. This means a regular lifestyle and seven hours of sleep a night. However, I have not been able to achieve either of these goals. Perhaps that is my weakness. I know what I need to do, but I can't do it. “I know, but I can't stop!” as I used to often sing. We need to be very careful not to lose control of our bodies.

Now is the time for automation and AI. Perhaps soon, AI will shake you awake, and when it's time to go to bed again, it will tell you to "Go back to sleep!” If someone is by my side and gives me strict attention like a trainer, perhaps I will be able to redefine my body. Thus, living happily until the age of 100 becomes a dream come true.

Since every male in my family has died at the age of 75, it would seem that I have only a short time left to live. But once I cross that hurdle, the sky's the limit. I feel like I can go anywhere and I think it is important to have such dreams.